Anti-Man Uth jokes

first of all,if you are man utd fans,the very die-heart type of those doesn't has sense of humour,please do not continue to proceed this post.hahaha..i read this jokes at HERE and i have choosen those i think it is funny.lol..

1. Two boys are playing football on a park in London. Suddenly a dog appears and sinks its teeth into the younger boy's chest. The elder picks up stick and drives it through the dog's heart, killing it.

A reporter observes all of this and asks the boy if he can write a story on it. He takes out a notebook and puts down the title
"ARSENAL FAN SAVES FRIEND'S LIFE"
The boy says "I don't support Arsenal". so the reporter puts down
"CHELSEA FAN SAVES FRIEND'S LIFE"
The boy says "I don't support Chelsea",so the reporter asks "Who do you support?", and the boy replies "Man U". So, the reporter writes down
"GLORY HUNTING IDIOT KILLS FAMILY PET"

2. Ronaldo, Rioscum and Ferguson are all trapped on the roof of a burning building.
The Fire Brigade duly arrive and hold out the big blanket for the guys to jump onto. They are understandably all a bit nervous but, being a brave lad and the club captain, Rioscum goes first. At the last second, the firemen whip the blanket away and Rioscum splats on the pavement, dead.
Still giggling, the firemen shout to Ferguson to go next. He jumps, they move the blanket, he makes a pancake on the pavemant, high fives all around from the firemen.
Last to go is Ronaldo. But he's not having any of it....
"You'll move the blanket" he shouts.
"No we won't" they reply.
"It's no good, I don't trust you. You'll move the blanket again" shouts the greasy daygo.
"Come on, jump you fool" they shout.
"Well, alright" he replies.
"But I'm not jumping until you put the blanket down and move at least ten yards away from it..."
*this one the meaning is quite hidden,try to catch it yourself.haha

3. One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a Man United fan all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge. They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he'd sleep in the barn. The Hindu and the United fan were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew. "I'm sorry," he said, "but there's a pig in that barn and because I'm Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it."

"No problem," said the Hindu. "I'll sleep out there instead." So off he went to the barn, leaving the United fan and the Jew to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu. "I'm sorry," he said, "but there's a cow in that barn and because
I'm a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it."

The United fan grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room. The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig.

yes,i am just so anti to Man Utd.hahaha...

*p/s:no offense to man utd fans..hehe